pesky vermin

Dear Squirrels,

This was a once happy-go-lucky tomato, growing freely (and alone) on its vine. It did nothing to you. Don't even look at me with those "innocent" eyes, I know you're to blame. I know you heard me talking to Isaiah about eating it with dinner the next night. I can almost see the wheels turning in your pea-sized brains... the perfect plan to ruin my evening! I admit that we have had our share of ups and downs, but you have to admit that you started it... remember my precious grape vines that you ripped to pieces? They were defenseless against your ruthless clawing! I did strike back; chasing you guys down with super soakers was the highlight of my summer. Now that the dreaded acorns are ripe, you've found a weapon of your own, but you know what... You're aim sucks! And guess what else... I used pesticides! Yeah, that stomach ache isn't from all the acorns... who's laughing now?!